The sun was bidding farewell to the clouds giving little cheek kisses that spread orange colour throughout the sky. The clouds blushed and danced around to welcome the night. The view was magnificent from my window. I felt my dress between my fingers, enchanted by the feeling of silk draped all over my body. There was a tremendous contrast in what I was wearing and what the society wanted me to wear. In a state of euphoria I danced across the room as the clouds sang the last few notes of sunshine. There was a skip in my steps as I walked across the closet to cherish the smell of those vibrant intertwined threads which did not defined a gender for me.

From a royal blue dress that flowed down shaping a full moon on the ground with little stars peeking from it, to a three piece suit, my closet was brimming with a variety of materials. These attires in my menage was a challenge at first. They couldn’t comprehend why their offspring who was a boy as notified by the doctor was wearing a dress meant for a young lady. Conquering that challenge over a thousand cup of earl tea, with my parents shearing tears every once in a while and fearing what the rat race may verbalize, I was finally able to make them understand the concept of gender fluidity. This skin is like clay and I can mould it in any way i like. Sometimes I even put in colour and sometimes I just go basic. Why should I be someone else to integrate myself with society, How can you go about finding who you really are’ if the whole idea of the one true self is a big fabrication? Roaming on the streets with my bright coloured lips with stink eyes boring holes in me, felt like rowing in the middle of an ocean with the storm hitting my boat now and then, throwing me into different directions, it was difficult to navigate, but now the compass is under my control. It has now penetrated in me that there is some inner essence locked within us because when the universe created me, it only poured in stars. And these stars have learnt to shine.

Arpita Raj

VSES

1st Semester