I lost track of time too soon. Knowingly I tried attempting again and again, to hold the trust of people I care about. Of people I thought, care about me. But it all ended up sucking ally expectations to only one cocoon- “never gonna last”.

 

Today when I hear things like “We have each other”-

All I hear back is that I got me. Just me. And that I’ll still make sure, that I’m there for you, even if you fail to be. 

 

When they say “Give me another chance”-

All I can imagine is another foolish apology I would readily accept, and blush down the memory lane reliving the relish of broken hopes. Heartbreak, damage, and chaos. Another chance an be nothing if we can’t get the previous mistake undone.

 

Today when I see days showing good bright sunshine and nights all lit with stars above, it boils down to “When is it going to fade?”, “What shall happen next that I don’t get to sit and thank my life for everything that’s good today?”

 

Realization is a very hard payback.

You make mistakes.

You choose the wrong people, but again, that isn’t the mistake. You don’t get to see labels before knowing them. 

But if you choose still staying long, 

You payback.

Through flashbacks.

Through hopes.

Through never-ending realizations.

And that, my friend, makes you paranoid. 

All the time.

About everything good.

Khushi Wadhwa 

 

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BBA (G)  1-D