A Regret I can never get over with
A letter to my friend who is now enjoying along with the angels and heavenly creatures in a much better place
I regret the fight I had with you when you had forgotten to wish we on my birthday. I regret laughing at your stupendous poems and anecdotes just for the sake of pulling your leg and for encouraging you to do better. I regret not hanging out with you everytime I could have and should have. I regret not coming on your eighteenth birthday because my grandmother forced me to attend some boring family function. I regret not showing you my answer sheet during examinations just because of the fear of being caught by the invigilator.
I don’t regret standing outside the class with you when we were accused by the teachers for not being the ideal students. I don’t regret accompanying you the principal office when you, me and our other accomplices were caught bunking our school and visiting the Taj Mahal. I don’t regret being the messenger between you and your crush because I enjoyed myself playing the role so much.
I regret not meeting you before I left for Delhi to attend my college. I regret each and every call of your’s which I was not able to pick up for a variety of reasons. I regret not being able to hug you tightly each time could have and should have. I regret not correcting you each time when you used abusive language. I regret not guiding you when I should have. I regret not being able to wipe your tears when I should have.
I regret not scolding you and correcting you when you chose not to wear a helmet while riding a two-wheeler. I regret letting you drive a two-wheeler despite knowing that you don’t have a valid driving license.
I regret not being the first person to help you when you met with a horrendous accident. I regret not beating the drunk driver black and blue for crushing you under the truck. I regretted not being with you as soon as possible. I regretted being in a different city when my best friend was battling for her life in a hospital. I don’t regret collecting funds for your treatment for helping your parents and you. I regretted not appreciating your ever smiling face when I realised that I had lost you.
I’ll regret that you won’t be with me at the time of my graduation or marriage. I’ll regret that you won’t be present with me on our much planned Goa trip. Maybe God had some other plans for you. Maybe you were not fit enough for this cruel world. Maybe your charismatic character was such that God chose to have you with him. Maybe your loved one’s care and affection were not enough to make you stay back. Maybe this was what was written in our destinies. Anyways, I’ll still have a lot of stories of your adventures to narrate to my grandchildren when I’ll grow old.
I think I don’t need to say that you will be missed by me. I promise to take care of your parents as now I am their only daughter left. I hope that your pure heart will find the solace it always yearned for. Best of luck for your endeavours in heaven.
Sanya writes this for a real friend she lost a few months ago. We pray that her friend rests in peace.